Should have learned the first time
Last night I went with Brian and Nick to the good ol’ China Buffet on 3rd street. We go there somewhat often, since it’s cheap and not too bad. Your standard cheap Chinese buffet restaurant. Also pretty much every entree they have there is some form of chicken, not that that’s a bad thing. Anyways, the main point of this story came at the end of the meal, when it was time to get some dessert. This doesn’t count Nick’s half dessert half meal, which was banana pudding and rice on the same plate. No, Nick, this still isn’t how you make rice pudding.
Now, before I go too far, I must mention that back during the A-Team Halloween weekend, we all went to China Buffet and saw some guy with a super mega ultra mullet. One of his offspring (there was about 20 of them with him) also puked while we were waiting in line to eat. Nothing whets your appetite like some redneck kid puking all over the floor. For dessert, we got the China Buffet brownies. I’d never eaten them before, and they didn’t look that bad. I think either Ari or Fatla had theirs first, and apparently it tasted horrible. You’d think to yourself that if something tastes bad, you wouldn’t want to try it. That’s not how it went down. I think this best relates to that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine has the stinky pen. Even though she knew it was a stinky pen, she kept on smelling it. Something about doing such a stupid thing is appealing or something. Thus is the CB brownie. It was bad, and yet we all tried it. Instead of tasting like chocolate or a brownie, it has some kind of weird bubblegum or otherwise NOT CHOCOLATE flavor.
Back to the present (er, yesterday). The brownies were back on the dessert tray; the first time I’ve seen them in months. Actually I had forgotten about the Halloween incident, probably because I blocked it out of my memory. Nick and I each got one, and he reminded me of how bad they were last time. You’d think we would have just left them uneaten, as we’d experienced the horror once before. You’d be wrong. We each tried them again, and they are indeed as bad as they were before. Seriously, they taste like some kind of chemical loaf with brown food coloring. Brian, who hasn’t gone to CB with us back at Halloween, was even coaxed into trying the evil dessert. The moral of the story is: don’t eat the brownies at CB. No matter how much time has passed or how good and chocolate-like they appear, they will taste like nuclear waste and should be avoided at all costs.