TheLeong.com

I’m going to do something I rarely do on this blog, and talk about the news. Actually two stories! With links! What is going on? And no it’s not because I can’t think of anything else to write that actually has something to do with me. That’s just part of the reason.

So first off, the big news of the day all over Japan is one of the SMAP guys, Tsuyoshi Kusanagi (left), getting arrested last night for running around totally drunk and totally naked in a park in Tokyo. HAHAHAHAHA. Yes that’s right. A member of SMAP, one of the most annoying “boy bands” on the planet got drunk and stripped down, running around in a park making weird noises described by a witness as roaring like “aaaa!” and “aaaaamou!” about 3AM this morning.

For those of you who don’t know SMAP, they’re this “boy band” in Japan that’s been around since 1988. Yes, that’s right. They have been a boy band for over 20 years and are still famous and active. According to Wikipedia, they started out as a group of backup dancers for another boy band and were promoted to their own group. They’re not good singers at all (at least one is actually terrible), they play no instruments, they write no songs, yet they’re one of the most famous bands in Japan. Odd, right? Oh and they’re also hosts of a bunch of TV shows, star in movies, and pretty much sell themselves out like every other famous person in Japan.

So anyway it’s personally been pretty awesome to see this all over the news, seeing that people are appalled that the “nice guy” of the group would do something like this. Sure I guess it’s not that big of a deal (he didn’t assault a police officer after a hit-and-run like fellow SMAP member Goro Inagaki did in 2001), but for a lot of the people I’ve seen on Japanese TV they’re acting like it’s the end of the world. This guy definitely has one of the tamest images of the SMAP guys. One time he played a mentally handicapped zookeeper on a TV show, which was believable because he looks kind of retarded. Kusanagi’s also one of the main spokesmen for the Japanese transition to all digital HD broadcasts, with a lot of lame commercials targeted at old people trying to get them to upgrade their sets in time. It looks like he totally lost that campaign, with the president of that group on the news earlier talking about how pissed he is about a man he can only think of as “a despicable human being.” Posters with Kusanagi are also being removed immediately. He also lost a Toyota commercial contract.

So take that SMAP! I’ve hated you all so long and it’s great to see one of you fail like this. I know in a few weeks you’ll be back like a horrible rash, but for this bit of time let’s enjoy everyone not freaking out about how cool a group of tone deaf 40 year olds are.

• JapanToday English article
• Asahi.com Japanese article 1 and 2 (there are dozens on there)

On to the next news article:

A karaoke place in Chiba city was the site for a big robbery earlier this morning, with a woman being robbed of 600,000 yen (about $6000 USD). It was early this morning around 4AM at the Utahiroba Karaoke, Keisei Chiba Chuo Ekimae location. Yes, that’s right. This is the karaoke place that me and my friends usually go to because it’s about 10 minutes from my apartment! That’s what caught my interest on the news earlier, because even though they had a lot of stuff blurred out (to protect the neighboring businesses, etc), I could tell exactly which karaoke place it was because I’ve been there dozens of times.

So according to the news, a 20-year old girl who works at a restaurant or bar went to karaoke with her friend after work. It was just two of them, and they had a small private room like most karaoke places in Japan have. At one point her friend went to the bathroom, and a man she didn’t recognize came into the room, sprayed her with mace or some kind of self-defense spray, and stole 600,000 yen out of her purse before running off. The karaoke place says they have him on the security camera, but I guess they haven’t caught him yet. The victim says that the money was her salary from work; Japanese companies often pay their employees in cash, so it’s not that strange.

Two things about this: first it’s weird because I go to this karaoke place all the time. I guess it is pretty easy for people to go in and out even without paying to karaoke there. I don’t really see security getting any better at this place though. OK and second, while of course it’s terrible that this girl got attacked and robbed, there is no reason for her to have had that much money on her. Japanese people do this all the time. They carry ridiculous amounts of cash on them because it’s still predominantly a cash society and yes it is overall very safe. But it’s still stupid to have that much money on you. Even if you just got paid, go to an ATM or something and deposit it. If you’re walking around with more than a few hundred dollars on you, you’re just asking for trouble.

It is kind of weird that the guy knew she had that much money on her, and found her karaoke room. I really doubt that it was just a random attack and she happened to be carrying that much on her. Either the guy saw her get paid at her work and followed her, or something even shadier is going on.

• NikkeiNet Japanese article

Finally went and saw the Watchmen movie on Thursday night. It didn’t come out in Japan until last Saturday, so I wasn’t that late in seeing it. It was an excellent movie, but of course it strayed a bit from the original comic. Still sweet to see a movie version of it, but yeah the comic was better overall.

After the movie ended, the credits started rolling, and I did what I usually do when credits start. I sat there. Why? Well as a lot of you probably do(?), I was thinking there was going to be some special bonus clip or something at the end of the credits. I’m not the only one, right? But anyways, I’m getting really tired of it. I don’t know what movie started this, but it’s a pain in the butt to sit there for 4-5 minutes worth of credits just because there’s a slight chance of seeing something worth it at the end. Oh, but these people worked so hard to make the movie, you should watch the credits all the way through! Yeah right. I’m already showing my gratitude enough by paying to see the movie. In Japan it’s almost 2000 yen too, so that’s plenty of gratitude. People who make movies don’t make money just by me reading their name. And who in their right mind actually reads the credits all the way through? I guess if you know someone who worked on it and you want to see their name that’s one thing, but most of the time you’re not going to sit there meticulously reading the name of every grip and assistant to Mr. xxxx. At least I sure never do.

Now, sometimes there really is something after the credits that’s worth watching. Iron Man was a good example. But most movies don’t have anything, yet I sit around just in case. I hate to hear afterwards that there was some bonus scene after the credits that I missed. That’s why I tend to sit around and sit through the credits, boring myself to death, to prevent that “I just got ripped off” feeling. I think at the very least movies should be required to post something at the beginning of the credits like “stay tuned for something worth it.” I’ve seen a few movies do that I think, I just can’t remember which ones.

Aaand that’s enough of a rant for now. Yes I am aware of the fact that I could just leave.

Some things that aren’t long or substantial enough to warrant their own blog entry.

1. I know I’m not the only one who thinks to themselves sometimes on seeing a baby “now that is one ugly baby.”
2. The multivitamins I take smell awful. I think my dog used to have vitamins that smelled the same. Is Costco selling dog vitamins to me?
3. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you’re both foreigners from English-speaking countries, there’s almost never a good reason for you to speak Japanese to eachother. Speak English.
4. My blog post titles over the years have become so obscure that even I can’t find what I’m looking for sometimes.
5. Some of my past blog posts make me cringe now. Sorry.
6. Chrono Trigger is one of the greatest video games ever made.
7. I’ve only had to wear a suit once over the past 2 months, which is awesome.
8. Hopefully I’ll be going outside Japan for work sometime this growing season (spring/summer).
9. Actually I’m pretty sure I’m at least going to HK in August.

Am I the only one who’s annoyed by people who prematurely think they’re your best friend? Surely I can’t be. You know what I’m talking about: the kind of person you meet maybe once or twice, usually a friend of a friend’s cousin’s girlfriend’s friend or some equally distant connection, who for some reason or another instantly believes you’re their new closest pal? This isn’t really a recent thing: there have always been people like this and it’s always bothered me. Sure, there’s a certain level of “friendliness” and “politeness” that society expects you to exhibit when meeting new people, but taking that too far can be annoying.

I have nothing against making new friends; I’d like to think that I do that quite often*. But if there’s someone you haven’t gotten to know well yet, they shouldn’t act like you’ve known each other for years: that’s going too far, and a severe case of PPFS. Suddenly asking “where’s the party at?” when you’ve never actually done anything with the person without your mutual friend(s) present; calling you (when did you give them your number?) out of the blue and pulling the eternally loathsome “It’s me”; running into you at the store and insisting that you finish your shopping together when all you needed to get was TP – all of these are classic signs of PPFS. And yes I’ve been unfortunate enough to experience them all.

Does this make me sound anti-social? I’m really not. But come on. I’ve known our mutual-friend-separated-by-10-degrees for years, so yes, we hang out. But I only met you at the barbecue last summer and talked to your briefly about how hot the weather was. OK, I suppose we also gave each other the half-head-nod of acknowledgment at another mutual yet distant friend’s Christmas party. But that doesn’t mean we’re good enough friends** for you to call me up this weekend to help you move. Don’t you have any closer acquaintances?

*maybe even 1 new friend a year!
**we’re not friends

Over a year ago I got stopped by a plainclothes police officer outside of Chiba station because my bike looked “suspicious.” The guy was real cool and didn’t even ask for ID. He just wanted to check some stuff out because I never use the built-in lock on my bike and I guess that looks weird to them. Well hey guess what? I got stopped again today for the exact same reason.

I was over at the Tsutaya near my apartment renting a DVD, and headed out to get on my old lady bike and go home. It was windy, cold, and raining, and it didn’t help at all when I got approached by 2 cops when I was getting ready to ride away. One was in plainclothes, the other was in the usual Japanese cop outfit complete with neon-yellow security vest. Just like last year they were both really nice, not hassling me or anything, but they wanted to ask me a few questions. The built-in lock that all Japanese old lady bikes (ママチャリ) have as standard-issue looks super weak, so I never use it. Instead, I have a wire lock that I usually string through my rear tire and seat. I also have a fairly new seat on my bike, which I guess makes it stand out also. Here’s a picture of the two locks on my bike for reference:

The little black ring with the thin metal inside near the middle of the bike is the built-in lock.
The big blue thing is my real lock.

At first I think they wanted to make sure I hadn’t had my seat stolen by kids before, because that seems to be a growing problem in the area. Plainclothes guy asked me why I don’t use the built-in lock, and I told him pretty straight up that “it looks cheap and I don’t trust it.” He laughed a little bit and admitted that “yeah, to be honest those locks are pretty useless.” After that, partially as a formality, they wanted to check my bike registration number to make sure everything was clear. They looked at the number on my little orange sticker and called it in. We waited for a few minutes in the rain (they had let me open my umbrella at least) until the office called the plainclothes’ cell phone back. “OK, so you’re Mr. Aoyagi?” “Uhhhhh, no that’s not right.” So that was weird. I didn’t freak out or anything because I knew I bought this bike and registered everything properly. I told them they must have made a mistake, and he checked again. Yep, the guy at the station had checked the wrong number. So another check later and I was of course fine, 10 or 15 minutes down the drain for the whole encounter but that was it.

After the name Aoyagi popped up at first, I could tell the cop was a little surprised when I told him my name was Leong, because we had been speaking Japanese the whole time and I don’t really think he expected me to have a foreign name. Even with that, the cop or his partner (who had wandered off to look at other bikes at some point) never hassled me or made things difficult. No checks of my Gaijin Card or other IDs, nothing. I hear so many stories of foreigners getting hassled by cops during random ID checks or something, but with my few run-ins with the police I can’t say I’ve ever experienced any kind of discrimination, etc. Always makes me wonder what gets some people so worked up.

On Sunday I went totally unprepared head-first into Level 1 of the Japanese Language Proficiency Exam (日本語能力試験　１級), the same exam I took Level 2 0f a year ago and somehow miraculously passed. OK, that was a lie – I actually did study, but only for a week and a half so I might as well have not even tried. From the beginning I wasn’t planning to pass Level 1 this year, so it’s all good. It was at least a good thing to try it to see how much I can improve between now and next time. Starting in 2009 they’re offering the test in both summer and winter here in Japan, as opposed to only in the winter like they’ve done up to now. So now I have two chances to take it next year, and I think I can do it in ’09. But we’ll see. Just like last year, it was kind of fun getting back into studying. I’ve been living here so long but almost never actually study. Sure, you learn stuff by exposure, but sitting down with a textbook is definitely a better way to learn.

And now that I’ve (re)learned that lesson, I will forget about it until next test time.

Just like last year, being in a flood of other foreigners is always a painful experience. I’m pretty much always complaining about the other foreigners around here, but when you bring a whole bunch of them together in one place you really see the cream of the crop. I suppose I should instead say the cream of the crap, because wow. Since I don’t want this entry to be longer than necessary, let’s just do a quick summary of some of the many things that irked me between sessions of getting pounded by a ridiculously difficult Japanese exam:

• On the train (yes, that early into the game) there was a group of about 6 foreigners on one side of the car. Just by a quick guess, I’d say there were a few Chinese, a South American, an Italian, and some other generic sleazy looking guy. They were calling their Japanese teacher on the phone attempting jokes and just being obnoxious. I’m sure their Japanese teacher is annoyed enough by having to teach these scabes in class (at some kind of language school?), let alone getting a phone call at 8AM on a Sunday.
• The mass flood of foreigners (90% Asian) from the train station to the test site, which was about 15 minutes on foot this time. Also slow-walking women are always a pain when they block the entire sidewalk.
• Several groups of foreigners “practicing” by “speaking” Japanese to each other during the breaks. I put “speaking” in quotes because they must have been Level 4 or so and thus can barely make sentences. Foreigners unnecessarily speaking Japanese to each other bothers me enough already.
• In the test room: the chick next to me looked like a young, Korean version of Mimi from The Drew Carey Show. Gross.
• In the test room: the middle-aged Chinese guy sitting directly in front of me smelled like an antique store. I don’t know how else to describe it. I think it was his puffy coat, which must have been stored in an ooooooold dresser for about 5000 years. And his back was less than a foot away from my nose.
• Korean guy outside who started speaking to me in Korean. I replied in Japanese saying I wasn’t Korean, and that I was American. He kept going in Korean. I got my phone out to ignore him, and he reverted to staring at me as if waiting for me to finish so I could resume “conversation.”
• On the way out, the Korean guy from before saw me and made eye contact, waiting for me to say something to him. I did not.

OK so the bullet points didn’t help shorten the length of this entry. But yeah just wanted to share those tidbits of complaint with you. This year saw a sharp decrease in the appearance of Asian chicks with emo glasses, but there was unfortunately a large influx of Asian chicks wearing Ugg Boots, which is by far worse.