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Look at this beast.  This is Japanese fast food chain Lotteria’s special limited time only destroyer of arteries, the aptly-named Tower Cheeseburger.  Finally got around to conquering it over the weekend.  I don’t know if I should be proud or ashamed of that.  Probably a little of both.

I first heard about this behemoth last month from Gigazine, who compared it to KFC USA’s Double Down sandwich in terms of terribleforyouness.  Unfortunately (fortunately?) until the beginning of June the Tower Cheeseburger wasn’t available at the Lotteria near my house and I never got around to trying it anywhere else in Tokyo.  But yeah, Blanchard and I hit up Lotteria yesterday for lunch and each got the Tower Cheeseburger plus fries and a drink.  It was a disgusting and delicious experience.

Obviously, the thing is massive.  It’s kind of like eating an entire meatloaf only greasier and cheesier.  It comes wrapped in paper just like a normal cheeseburger, but it’s pretty tough to pick up and actually fit into your mouth like a normal burger.  Brian somehow managed to do so in record time, but I had to get a fork to finish the thing off bit by bit.  Surprisingly, the taste is pretty good overall once you get over the fact that you’re destroying yourself.  The cheese was really good, and the meat patties seemed like pretty good quality , although with that much cheese and meat the flimsy bun and skimpy condiments (only on the buns) make it a little boring to eat.

I hadn’t been to a Lotteria for a long time since their normal burgers are pretty small and their prices seem more expensive than McDonald’s.  But after this experience I’m likely to hit up Lotteria again in the next few months before I leave, although definitely not for a 10×10 ever again.

Japanese food was for centuries renowned for its beautiful aesthetic values and sensitive emphasis on the four seasons. The heavy use of fresh fish, vegetables, and tofu made it a truly healthy cuisine. With the introduction of various Western fast foods, such as McDonald’s, over the past few decades, the diet and eating culture of the Japanese has changed dramatically. Last year, McDonald’s Japan introduced a sandwich called the Mega Mac, which had double the meat of the classic Big Mac. This sandwich was not sold throughout the US, but it because somewhat popular in Japan, perhaps due in part to the novelty of eating a “huge-ass sandwich.”

And my god, McDonald’s Japan is at it again.

This time, they didn’t bring back the Mega Mac, but its two cousins -the Mega Tamago (egg) and the Mega Tomato. While they have only three beef patties compared to the Mega Mac’s ridiculous 4, they are still massive sandwiches in their own right. The Tamago has a fried egg, like what they have on the Egg McMuffin. The Tomato has, obviously, a slice of tomato, which seems like a step down from another piece of meat, but who knows. And the Tomato costs more than the Tamago! And did I mention that both sandwiches also have two strips of bacon? I’m pretty sure that if you wanted to have a heart attack immediately, you could probably eat two Mega Tamago burgers and call it a day.

That’s from the official website. The sandwiches were just released today, and just like the Mega Mac, are a limited menu item. I was going to blog about these yesterday after seeing the huge posters, but it was pointed out to me by former blogger Nick Roberts that it wouldn’t be a real blog without first-hand experience. I’d never even tried the Mega Mac, but I had to try one of these new beasts. I took the challenge. Behold tonight’s dinner:

You can clearly see the beef, egg, cheese, and bacon all piled up in what is disguised as a sandwich but is really a big tower of grease. It doesn’t taste that bad, but the volume is killer. All I had eaten today was a stale blueberry bagel, then had this monstrosity for dinner. I ate it all, but couldn’t finish my drink. It was also pretty impossible to keep the entire thing together after two or three bites. They need like a skewer or something to keep it all stacked right. Now, I can eat a lot, but I think the density of this burger and the fact that I ate it in less than 10 minutes did me in. I felt like death walking out of McDonald’s. I may have defeated the Mega Tamago, but it definitely did it’s damage.

Oh yeah, instead of the thousand island dressing, they use spicy mayonnaise-kind of stuff like they used to use on the McChicken here. That part was good.

Behold! A Burger King double bacon cheeseburger meal with onion rings and a grape soda.

Yeah, yeah, this is nothing to you people living in America, where Burger Kings are on every corner situated next to Jack in the Box, White Castle, and Wendy’s. But this is Japan, remember? There are only 2 BKs in the entire country, and both of them opened in June. Burger King was here a few years ago, but did poorly so they closed down. But they’re making a comeback. And it was amazing.

Last Monday I was in between job interviews in Shinjuku and was feeling hungry. I was passing through the i-Land shopping mall area on my way back to the subway, and checked out the directory to see what food they had to offer. And I saw Burger King. By sheer coincidence, I stumbled upon Burger King! And I tell you what, it was the most delicious BK I have ever had. It was so fresh, so delicious. Definitely beats the McDonald’s burgers, and might very well beat restaurant burgers here as well, although I don’t really get them that often. And they just started having onion rings too, which was a welcome surprise.

Every Japanese person I’ve told about this, which is about 2, gave me an unimpressed “was it really that good?” The answer is YES, it was. Too bad it’s about an hour and a half away from me.